Truths I Wish Every New Parent Knew (But No One Talks About)

Let me say this first: if you’re in the thick of those early newborn days, you’re doing amazing. Even if you haven’t brushed your teeth, even if your baby is currently attached to your chest or screaming in the background or both — you’re doing it. I’d like to share some truths I wish every new parent knew and heard

As a mom of five and a doula who’s walked with countless families through those hazy, tender first weeks, I’ve seen a lot. And I’ve lived it, too. The joy, the doubt, the beautiful mess of it all. There are things I wish someone had told me, not in a “what to expect” kind of way, but in a “here’s the honest truth from someone who gets it” kind of way.

So here’s my list. Not advice, exactly — just the kind of gentle, loving truths I hope land in your heart exactly when you need them.

New Parent Truths

1. You don’t have to love every moment.

That phrase “enjoy every second” can feel like pressure wrapped in a blanket of guilt. Yes, there are magical moments. But there are also 3 a.m. feedings that make you question your existence. It’s okay not to love every second. Loving your baby and loving motherhood 24/7 are not the same thing — and one does not cancel out the other.

2. Bonding can take time.

Not everyone feels that instant, overwhelming connection right away. That’s normal. You are still learning each other — and attachment grows in layers, not lightning bolts. Give yourself grace. You’re not doing it wrong.

3. Google is not your friend at 2 a.m.

You know what I’m talking about. One innocent search and suddenly you’re spiraling down a rabbit hole of terrifying possibilities. Try to reach out to your pediatrician, your doula, or even a trusted friend instead. Or better yet, just stare at your baby’s eyelashes until you feel your heartbeat again.

4. Feeding your baby is not a moral issue.

Whether it’s breast, bottle, formula, donor milk, combo feeding — you are feeding your baby. The end. Your worth is not defined by how milk leaves your body or how much ends up in a bottle.

Fed is obvious. Supported is ideal. Loved is everything.

5. Your identity will shift and that’s okay.

You won’t go back to who you were. That’s not a bad thing. You’re growing, expanding, re-rooting. Becoming a parent doesn’t erase your identity — it reshapes it. Make space for that transformation. Talk about it. Ask for help navigating it. You are still you, even as you evolve.

6. It’s okay to ask for help.

Let people bring you meals. Let them do your laundry. Say yes when someone offers to hold the baby so you can shower. You don’t earn extra love for doing it all alone. This season wasn’t meant to be walked solo — let your village show up for you.

7. You are the perfect parent for your baby.

Even on the messy days. Even when you second-guess every choice. Even when it feels like everyone else has it together (they don’t). Your baby doesn’t need perfection — they need you. And you are more than enough.

New parenthood is raw, and real, and vulnerable. It’s a whole identity shift in the middle of sleepless nights and spit-up-soaked shirts. But it’s also sacred. And someday — maybe sooner than you think — you’ll look back at this chapter and see strength, softness, and survival stitched into every blurry day.

Also, sometimes, it’s not just about getting through it. Postpartum depression and anxiety are real medical conditions that may need more than prayers and people in your space. If the blues don’t lift or it feels like too much, absolutely reach out to your doctor, tell someone you trust that it isn’t “just” taking time, or call 911 if those thoughts or feelings endanger you or your child. You are NOT alone in needing help with regulating your mental health after a barrage of hormones and life changes. It might take more and that is normal, too.

If you’re navigating those early days now, or getting ready to… I see you. And I’m here for you — not just as a photographer, but as someone who knows what this season feels like from the inside.

Want to capture these early days before they fly by?

Reach out anytime — I’d be honored to document your newborn’s first days and help you create lasting memories that remind you just how far you’ve come.